so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
