You're my little dorito
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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