Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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