Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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