Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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