I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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