Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
