i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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