just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize