I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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