69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
