I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
