Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
