Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
