There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
