Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize