I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
