Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
