i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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