Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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