My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
