So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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