it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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