The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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