I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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