I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
