I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Randomize
