Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
