Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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