Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
