sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
