Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize