I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
