my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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