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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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