Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize