She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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