sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
