just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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