you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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