I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
