Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
