took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
