I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Someone came in the potted fern
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
