YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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