you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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