I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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