Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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