Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
