i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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