Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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