Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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