i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
