Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
