idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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