Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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