About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize