im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
