I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
