there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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