he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
