She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he puts the penis in happiness.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
