5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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