Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
