I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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