I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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