He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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