if you like me you must not know who I am
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
