Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
This toilet bowl is my home.
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