yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
