meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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