words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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